APT logo

Association of Polytheist Traditions

Ask a Silly Question

An Alternative FAQ
Copyright © by Lady Zenobia Per-Akhet and M. Awen Dreamcatcher 2003
  1. Do you worship parrots? (it's a weak joke, I know, but the polyfiller one was worse.)
    Yes, if they are divine parrots.

  2. How do you know that Hecate and Kali and the Morrighan aren't all the same Goddess? They look the same to me.
    It would be more profitable for you to consider how you look to them.

  3. If you worship gods that you have met, does this mean you don't believe the other gods exist?
    Not at all. We have met all the gods in existence, including the parrot ones. We make a point of doing this. In fact, it will be a precondition for your membership.

  4. Pagans often say they don't worship their gods ~ so what do you do with them?
    Play scrabble. Go down the pub. Screw. Go out for a curry. Clean the house. Depends what day it is.

  5. Are you just a bunch of people who hate Wiccans because some High Priestess wouldn't initiate you into her coven?
    Not quite. We have been refused initiation in every Wiccan coven in existence (this is also a precondition of membership).

  6. If you believe in lots of gods, why don't you believe in Jesus too?
    Which Jesus do you mean?

  7. Wasn't there some statue of Isis dug up with the words "all goddesses are the one goddess" written on it? Doesn't that prove that ancient pagans were monolatrist, and not really polytheist at all?
    It proves that somebody carved those words on a statue of Isis, which somebody later dug up. Possibly one and the same person.

  8. Why do you deny that cavemen all worshipped the Great Mother, when archaeologsts have proven it? Aren't you just playing into the hands of the Church who want to divide and conquer us?
    Those archaeologists are secret monotheists working clandestinely, we suspect, with Opus Dei, the Dominican Order and the Guild of the Virgin Mary.

  9. If you don't believe in the Great Goddess that must be because you're collaborating with the patriarchal oppressors ~ how can you, as a wimmmyn, possibly do this?
    We deeply resent the inherent sexism in that question. To deny any being the freedom of transgendering is repressive in the extreme. Shame on you.

  10. How come you don't cast circles and invoke the four elements?
    You've got that slightly wrong: we simply know more ways of consecrating ritual space and more forms of invocation of more entities than five.

  11. What's the point of being purist, when the ancients were so eclectic? I mean, look at the Romans!
    No, they were syncretic, not eclectic. To be eclectic means to choose from the best of many sources.

  12. If you're trying to recreate the past, does that mean you'll start burning people in wicker men or enslaving them?
    An it harm none, I don't see why not.

  13. Is it true that polytheists are just a bunch of elitist snobs?
    If I were, I wouldn't be talking to you, would I?